Apocalypse Road: The Essendarium – Part 10, Slam the Hammer Down

“Spoken
Hey you – You up there – Yeah you
Can you hear me? I said, I said can you hear me?
Don’t you listen to me when I’m talking to you?
If you can’t go for it, you can’t go for it good!
And that means you ain’t gonna get away from what you got comin’!

She’s a cool kinda mama – Sure gonna slam the hammer down
When the pistons are pumping – Sure gonna slam the hammer down
Oh when the body starts to shake it’s time to loosen off the brake
And slam it down

Push the pedal to the metal – Sure gonna slam the hammer down
Gonna burn up the rubber – Sure gonna slam the hammer down
The chequered flag won’t make you stop,
You keep on going ’til you drop and slam it down

Keep a moving and motor racing and the wheels go round and round
Oh when you win you’ll be celebrating, ready to slam the hammer on down
Got a flash little chassis
The crowd screams when you slam the hammer down

First, second, third and fourth
Into top and slam the hammer down
You know it’s getting all too much
When you’re letting out the clutch
And slam it down

Keep a moving accelerating
And you’re waiting to face the crowd
Now you’re opening up a wide gap
Ready to slam the hammer on down

Song: Slam the Hammer Down by Slade, 1984 (Condensed and edited for suitability… a lot)
Written by Noddy Holder and Jim Lea

Turn 2 started with the Baguette Bakers in first with 7 points followed by the Scurvy Dogs at 6 and four teams at 5. Most teams have a shot except for probably the Mountaineers who lost 2 drivers very early and are still struggling to have any kind of success either shooting or driving. Since there is really no breaking point in the game and certainly no yellow flags to mark sections of the race, we’ll just pick it up in medias res…

With the racing tight heading into the turn 1, Sean P. Tompkins of the Baguette Bakers crowds the Ghost Reapers’ Austin Van De Weerd into the smoking ruins of Lob Jammer’s car. Heavy damage to the engine and axle spells and end to the youngster’s day. Taking advantage of the gap created, Flawless of The Fist swings high and sprays a pack of cars with her fifty caliber weapon chewing up steel and rubber alike, forcing the drivers to hunker down in their titanium tubs. The burst of gunfire startled Oil Can Charlie enough that he took his eyes off the road just before entering the crossover and unfortunately rammed his team mate, Moxie “Moxer” Murdock, hard enough to roll her. Where things had looked so good for the Baguette Bakers, the signs are beginning to show that their good fortune may not be as lasting as they might hope.

In the jump section Soonsin Lee of the Mountaineers proves that if they didn’t have bad luck, they would have no luck at all. He mistimed a jump and ended up catching the side of hill #2 and spinning off the track with a flooded and stalled engine, he’ll manage to get it restarted but only after being passed by half the cars on the track. One of those cars is the spectacular Cassie “Dirty” Murray of Archmage Engines who hit the jumps perfectly at speed and overtook four cars in the process.

Some days, things just go bad from the jump, Hope “Huff” Aldiline launching out of the chute, made it only as far as turn 1 before realizing that her transmission was slipping out of the high gears. That is going to make for a truly dispiriting day for the Ghost Reaper replacement driver.

A pack of cars crosses the finish line:

  • MDB – Scurvy Dogs – Mad Dash Cash (2nd)
  • 79 – Gelato Division – ad79 (1st)
  • JR3 – Ghost Reapers – Jonn Rock (1st)
  • 115 – Deadbeats – Stina (1st)
  • 99e – Gelato Division – RE-T33KS “Fur Machine” YL-IME (1st)
  • 806 – Hazleton Mountaineers – Thor, still doing a great job of managing that fuel leak (2nd)
  • 36 – X-treme Hazard – Alice Beck (2nd)

Over in the jump section, the brutal hills have claimed yet another car. X-treme Hazard’s Luther Albatros bottomed out hard on the landing and destroyed his chassis and suspension. That will be all she wrote for him in this event. Over in The Chute, Hazleton’s Tricia “C” Mahaffey red-lined coming out and 100 yards into race began smoking from under her hood. Have I mentioned that today may not be the Mountaineers day?

“Oh my! Take a look, the officials are waving the Race bonus flag! The next four cars that cross the finish line will receive double points for their effort! I’m looking down towards the crossover and yes, I can see a pack of cars dancing through the intersection and racing hard for the flag!”

Race Bonus finishers:

  • 624 – The Fist – Jack “The Jackhammer” Brennan (1st driver to notch his 3rd lap)
  • 08 – Big Damn Heroes – Gemma “Pinkthunder” Powell (3rd)
  • 90 – Scurvy Dogs – Dirk “Road Rash” Rhodes (3rd)
  • J16 – X-Treme Hazard – Omzig “Mutant Boy” Bocaj (2nd)

Brennan, Powell and Rhodes have been in that lead pack of racers for the entire day. Mad Dash Cash may have run a faster lap, these three are definitely setting the track on fire and forcing the action.

Cannen Rock of the Gelato Division zeroed in on the limping SPT car from the Baguette Bakers. With their early lead, their cars seem to be fair game for everyone and Tompkins car was already slightly damaged from its ramming of Van De Weerd’s 41 car just a short while ago. There’s the high speed ‘pit’ move and yep, there goes Tompkins into a nasty roll, spelling an end to his day. But Rock isn’t done there. After clearing the smoke and debris of the rolling SPT car, he sped blindly into the crossover and made heavy contact with the Baguette Bakers Oil Can Charlie. While we’ve seen harder hits, the amount of wear and tear already on the 01L car made this hit enough to retire him for the day. In about 100 yards of track, Cannen has destroyed two cars from the high-flying Bakers.

Following that bit of action another pack of cars crossed the finish line:

  • H23 – Baguette Bakers – Mangle Williams, staying out of trouble without his top gears (1st)
  • Z3 – Archmage Engines – Gid Zornes (2nd)
  • 777 – Ghost Reapers – Federico “Vetinari” Galeotti (2nd)
  • 121 – Deadbeats – Teresa “The Dominator” White (2nd, a really fast lap)
  • 888 – X-treme Hazard – Francis “Killer” Lalumiere (2nd, also running that fast lap with White)
  • OLE – Archmage Engines – Ole Tubli (3rd)
  • LZ3 – Deadbeats – Laura Zyeraa (1st)
  • 7 – Ghost Reapers – Hope “Huff” Aldiline (1st)
  • 98 – Scurvy Dogs – Mary Read (3rd)
  • 99e – Gelato Division – RE-T33KS “Fur Machine” YL-IME (2nd this turn, wow! That… thing can drive!)
  • 806 – Hazleton Mountaineers – Thor, still doing a great job of managing that fuel leak (3rd)
  • JR3 – Ghost Reapers – Jonn Rock (2nd)
  • AWC – Gelato Division – Andrew “High-Voltage” Current (3rd)
  • 67 – The Fist – Francois “Gentil” Petitclerc (2nd)

All of turn 1, with its smooth pavement and high bank, has become the prime location for weapon fire. The Fearless Jarl of the Deadbeats laid down heavy auto-cannon fire at Dirk “Road Rash” Rhodes of the Scurvy Dogs, eliminating him. This was followed in swift succession by the Big Damn Heroes “Pinkthunder” Powell catching Alice Beck with a missile at almost the same time, while 40 yards back the Ghost Reapers “Vetinari” Galeotti lined up Mangle Williams of the Baguette Bakers with a missile shot right to the engine.

Turn 2 came to a close with another flurry of cars crossing the finish line:

  • 25 – Deadbeats – Arender (1st)
  • 60c – Tricia “C” Mahaffey with her engine gauges red-lining (1st)
  • CRS – Gelato Division – Cannen Rock literally having the race of his life with 3 kills and 3 laps. (3rd)
  • 79 – Gelato Division – ad79 (2nd)
  • 75w – The Fist – Nickie “Irish Lass” Kilpatrick
  • HMX – X-treme Hazard – “Lead Jacket” Jeff Pattison
  • 777 – Ghost Reapers – Federico “Vetinari” Galeotti (3rd)
  • 888 – X-treme Hazard – Francis “Killer” Lalumiere (3rd)

Team Scores at conclusion of turn 2:

12 = Gelato Division

10 = Baguette Bakers, Ghost Reapers, X-treme Hazard, Scurvy Dogs

9 = The Fist

8 = Big Damn Heroes, Deadbeats

7 = Archmage Engines

4 = Hazleton Mountaineers

Stay tuned for turn 3, coming next week. Spoiler, with black needing only 1 point to lock it up, I feel safe to say next turn will see the end of the race.

There are many driver spots still available. If you are so inclined, for $20 you receive the following benefit.

  • Driver Naming Rights allowing you to name one driver and assign that driver a 1 to 3 digit ID.

If you would like to sponsor the pink, light green or green team for $100 you would receive the following benefits.

  • Naming Rights including Team Name, Owner Name, Team Location, Team Color and Logo Input.
  • Driver Naming Rights allowing you to Name one driver and assign that driver a 1 to 3 digit ID.

If this interests you, please contact Jeff Horger at jagrcz68@aol.com and we can get the ball rolling. There are still also drivers available on many teams. Carla & I are happy to help all of you that want to be a part of the Thunderverse to get on to a team.

If you just want to play the game, we need your votes with your wallet on the GMT P500 right now. We’ve made the cut and sit at 519 orders right now, but there is absolutely no reason to not get your game reserved early. If you back it now the discount is pretty substantial ($72 down to $49) so now is the time to get in on the deal. https://www.gmtgames.com/p-623-apocalypse-road.aspx


Previous Article in this Series: Apocalypse Road: The Essendarium — Part 9

Next Article in this Series: Apocalypse Road: The Essendarium – Part 11, The Final Chapter

Jeff Horger
Author: Jeff Horger

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